Of randomness

My hands they're small, I know,
but they're not yours,
they are my own and
I am never broken.

There's still a long way to go before we get to that "best friends" status, I think. When speaking to someone recently he mentioned something like he's lost his first love to another guy, but he doesn't want to lose her altogether. Which is why he's trying to make ammends to the friendship now. And as he quoted, from Spiderman 3 and from the gorgeous girl who tried-to-lay-one-on-him, the hardest thing for her to do now is to forgive herself.

On a different note, I think I've lost sight of alot of things about myself. Or I always take things for granted. Hell, I can't remember the last time I prayed. [Pardon the pun.] Well, okay, I can, but that's not my point. And that makes me very sad because I really don't want to get used to doing something that I initially didn't think was okay. For some things, it isn't a simple matter of being open-minded or accepting. Sometimes it's hard to maintain your stance.

But how do you know what's right anymore? It's not as though the world is simply in black and white anymore, more likely it's a spectrum of grays.

Then again, when I moan about all these, I'm reminded of a childhood fable that says something about how a prince was plucked out of his castle and exposed to the most sinful and supposedly enjoyable lifestyle filled with decadance and such but he still remained pure and upright without faltering because he knew who he was and his own standing. So if he could do it, so can I!

I used to think that it was a good thing that my mom was so strict on my dressing and curfews and stuff because if she wasn't, I'd probably go crazy; drunk on the freedom. Then I'd realize that there really isn't anything stopping me from doing the nasty. Just because my mom said so doesn't mean I can't rebel. It's my own decision to not do the nasty. Then I feel a little smug, a little happy of the fact that perhaps, it's just not ME to do all that. That maybe I'm not so bad, after all.

So maybe, just maybe the world isn't so bleak as to be a mere spectrum of grays. Maybe it might have some lightness and colour in it.